VOLTURI CASTLE xxxx
by Snow White and the Seven Vamps
Summary: a different version of when bella was at the volturi castle to when she goes home in new moon
1. What The Devil?

Bella Sings?

At the volturi castle during new moon

**bella; edward i'm scared  
edward; yes well tahts to be expected  
bella; -whiney voice- I...WANNA...GO...HOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEE  
edward; will you be quiet !  
bella; you dont love me -cries-  
jane; GOD does she ever shut up  
alice; fraid not its sad really**

**bella; what did yo say bout my mama  
alice; nothing?  
bella; -glares-**

jane ; - opens large doors- HA I am strong :)  
aro ; I send you for one and you bring back 2 and a half-  
bella; 2 and a half men? I LOVE THAT PROGRAM...weres the tv?  
Aro; HA bella did a funny  
edward; -growls-

**bella; but there is no funny in my tummy  
alice; oh god  
demetri; SHHHHHHHHH  
alice; SHHHHHHHHHHH yourself  
demetri; very well then  
**

**aro ; now edward  
bella; is this gonna be long cos my dad is like really worried  
aro; if you would have let me finis-  
-hevy rave tune comes on-  
aro; what the devil?  
felix; its an iphone  
bella; I AM LOVED WAIT 2 MINUTES  
-answers-  
bella; s'happnin peeeps  
volturi; -look at each other-  
bella; JACOB MA MAN DOG HOW YA DOIN?  
edward; man dog?  
****Alice; dont ask**

**edward; ok then  
bella; NAH hes not dead...yet  
demetri and felix; -laugh-  
bella; 2 mins jake -puts hand over speaker- SHUT UP AM ON THE PHONE  
D & F; -silent-  
bella; yes as I was saying-  
-raised tones on other side of phone-  
bella; DAD CALM DOWN AM ONLY IN ITALY SHEESH**

**aro ; oooohhh somebody's in troubleeee  
bella; -glares- no dad...yes dad...PUT JACOB BACK ON...okay bye love you ….  
edward; are you do-  
bella; SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
edward; -silent-  
bella; ok jake bye...-hangs up-  
alice; finally  
bellla; I heard you  
alice; YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO  
bella; rudeness**

**aro; can we continue  
bella; I suppose  
aro ; ok …...EDWARD YOU SHALL DIE NOW  
-nobody moves-  
aro; -sighs- ninja possitions  
volturi people; ooohhhh  
bella; HAHAHAHAHA  
aro; what  
bella; yous are TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA VAMPIRES  
creators of vampires  
protectors of law (8)  
aro; -falls of chair laughing-  
bella; it wasnt that funny  
aro; I no  
bella; -backs away-  
aro; felix  
f; what  
****aro; the girl...catch her  
bella; you shall never ca- oh you caught me well this sucks  
felix; well we are vampires  
bella; RIPPED IT too far mate too far  
felix; -grumbles about how he never ripped it when he clearly did-  
bella; OMG A SMALL SHINY OBJECT...MUST. HAVE. IT**

**aro; ha I have it first -picks it up-  
bella; pfft pathetic  
aro; so I have a shiny object and you dont  
bella; shocking I tell you shocking  
aro; yeh yeh yeh  
bella; LE GASP  
edward; RAWR  
bella; AHHHHHHHH you trying to give me a heart attack jim  
edward; jim?  
Bella; nvr mind!  
aro ; -goes to kill edward-  
bella; waiiiiiiiiittttttttt...  
aro; WHAT NOW  
bella; kill me instead  
jane; YESSSSSSSs  
aro; really?  
Bella; no am just sayin it for dramatic affect – rolls eyes-  
aro; cheek I tell you**

**marcus; the child is so plain  
bella; no because I wrote a song**

**marcus; go on**

(tune of superchick – one girl revolution)  
bella; I know volturi  
they think am plain

**I aint super I am nothing**

**edward dosent think that way**

if all you see is how I look  
you miss the vampire within

**I bet they christined the titanic  
just to watch the people swim**

**I have no right but I shall be myself  
****I have no right but I shall be myself  
I have no right but I shall be myself**

I have no right but I shall be myself

(chorus) I'll be everything that I wanna be  
I seem to just thrive on insecurity  
I am a voice not caring if am herd  
I fall down bang its heard around the house

and i'm a one girl revolution (x6)

(chorus x2)

aro; that was definetly...the worst singin I have ever herd  
bella; what?  
aro; I meen you hevy scream the words dear

**bell****a; -rolls eyes- can we go yet?  
aro; yes leave now  
PLEASEE...!  
bella; nah!  
aro; -death glare-  
bella; i was kiddin calm it sake  
aro; what the devil is she on about  
bella; wit mahn hevy trippin on yer lollipop or summit  
aro; the hell ?  
edward; jst ignore her  
aro; ok goodbye  
bella; -skips away-  
edward and alice; -follow her-**

if you would like a second chapter about the plane journey back just review xxxx thanks yous xxxx


	2. ON the plane !

Part 2

on way home from volterra in new moon

bella;

-sleeping- …...yes edwin...i knew that edward...no no...le gasp how did you know?...well I couldn't exactly tell you...oh evil pixie...its not his fault hes a werewolf...do you know he is hot with no top on...forbid me? Thats harsh...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
edward; *annoyed* what the devil?  
Alice; THAT IS ARO'S WORD AND HE WOULD NOT BE HAPPY THAT YOU STOLE IT ! I SHALL CALL HIM  
edward; the devil? how do you have his number  
alice; OHHHH YOU SED IT AGAIN and me and jane are facebook buds  
edward; what is this book of faces?  
-everyone on plane stops and stares-  
edward; what?  
wee guy; cough weirdo cough  
edward; -venom in eyes- y-you people are so m-mean!  
-everyone looks away-  
edward; god  
-alice phones aro-  
aro; hello young one  
alice; hello aro  
edward; ALICE STOP  
aro; what gives me the pleasure of this call on my nokia 02  
edward; PLEASE STOP  
alice; -in mind- neeevveerrr  
edward; CURSES  
alice; -out loud- well he used your word  
aro; what the devil?  
alice; YES THAT ONE  
aro; noooooooooooooooooooooo thats mine I created that one sunday night when I was bored  
alice; well edward has used it …...twice  
aro; -silent-  
alice; you there  
jane; hello alice aro has gone into shock I shall go on facebook later and notify you on his state  
alice; thank you goodbye -hangs up-  
edward; well that can't be good  
alice; its all your fault  
edward; how?  
alice; you used his word  
edward; you cant prove anything dear  
alice; I can too  
edward; i bet you he went into shock because your voice is so high  
alice; *kicks him*  
edward; OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHHHH THE HELL ALICE  
alice; cough ha cough  
edward; evil shopper lover pixie *evil smile*  
alice; *vision* EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN YOU BURN MY HANDBAG YOUR CD's WONT LIVE UNTIL TOMORROW  
edward; NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
alice; he he he  
bella; -wakes up- NO PROTECT ME FROM THE EVIL MILKYBAR KID  
edward; AHH WHERE  
small child; mummy thank you for the milkybar  
bella; NOOOOOOOOO CHILD DONT EAT IT -grabs milkybar and stands on it-  
childs mother; what the deuce are you doing?  
bella; MILKYBARS ARE EVIL AND MUST BE DESTROYED  
childs mother; sit down child  
bella; ok **-**sits-

childs mother; excellence  
small child; -cries-  
childs mother; -gives child packet of buttons-  
small child; yayy!  
edward; bella  
bella; yes edwin  
edward; its edward  
bella; I knew that  
edward; you sed that in your dream too  
bella; HOW DID YOU KNOW! MIND RAPIST!  
edward; but I cant read your mind  
bella; creepy child  
edward; you sleep talk  
bella; oh well...continue  
edward; you also sed something about werewolfs bein hot with no shirts on  
bella; yes its true they have hevy twenty packs  
edward; evil child  
bella; you be quiet just cos your jelous of jacobs awesomeness  
edward; I am not jelous  
bella; you clearly are  
edward; pfft dont be silly  
bella; LOOK INTO MY EYES  
edward; **stutters** N-never **tries to cover eyes**  
bella; see that proves it you are jelous  
edward; darn you, darn you to heck!

edward; so you know what this book of faces is  
bella; well duhh are you tellin me you dont  
edward; ok I dont know what it is

bella; when we get home I am seriously giving you a lesson on the internet  
edward; ok love  
bella; why must you always say love its quite creepy what are you 200?  
edward; 110 actually  
bella; cough old cough  
edward; hmph  
bella; I met lloyd daniels once and he sed that was rude  
edward; who  
bella; **slaps him** EVIL CHILD YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO HE IS  
edward; why do you love him  
bella; NO but he is hot  
edward; **growls**  
bella; **swaps seats with alice**  
alice; was the swap necessary  
bella; yes it was  
edward; LOVE I AM SORRY  
bella; AHHHHHHH NOT THIS AGAIN **runs to toilet  
**alice; so eddie s'happnin **evil smile**  
edward; NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

bella; hmm why are the toilets so small  
voice; COOOKKKIIEEESSS  
bella; AHHHHHHHH COOKIE MONSTER  
cookie monster; I EAT YOU SMALL COOKIE  
bella; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
*runs back to seat*  
edward; your back  
bella; THE COOKIE MONSTER WAS GONNA EAT ME  
edward; THE COOKIE MONSTER IS HERE  
*everyone stares*  
edward; WHY MUST YOU ALL STARE  
*everyone looks away*  
edward; BETTER

*plane lands*  
alice; way to be subtle eddie  
edward; shut up shut up shut up  
alice; wheres bella  
bella; -hides behind alice- psst behind you  
alice; oh hi  
edward; LOVE forgive me and I shall give you a piggy back ride to your house  
bella; and...  
edward; I am truly sorry  
bella; and...  
edward; what?  
Bella; I dont know I just wanted to see what I would get if I kept askin  
edward; am I forgivin  
bella; I suppose  
edward; yayy  
alice; cough douche cough  
edward; **growls**  
bella; le sigh


	3. THE next day

The Next Day

when bella wakes up the next day

bella; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
edward; **-touches her-  
**bella; -wakes up- AHH NINJA FATHER GET THE GU- oh wait  
edward; SHIT charlies coming **-hides behind door-**  
charlie; -opens door- WHAT HAS HAPPENED  
bella; nothing...i thought I saw a ninja  
charlie; yes and thats normal  
bella; you dont know the meaning of the word  
charlie; yeh cos normal kids dont run of for 3 days and leeve a note sayin if I dont live I love you?  
Bella; well I answered your call didnt I ?  
charlie; no you answered jakes !  
Bella; same thing  
charlie; its not  
bella; yeh well that place aint the best for reception  
charlie; I should sent you to jacksonville  
bella; LOOK INTO MY EYES  
charlie; **-looks-  
**bella; when I look away you shall have forgotten that statement -looks away-  
charlie; erm what was I saying?  
Bella; something about edward?  
Charlie; ah yes he is not allowed to walk in that front door until your ungrounded which is never  
bella; yes yes now run along  
charlie; I thought you would have argued  
bella; not normal remember?  
Charlie; ah yes goodbye  
bella; goodbye  
-charlie leaves-

edward; if I was human I am sure my nose would be broke  
bella; excellent  
edward; why excellent  
bella; because then I would have a reason to laugh  
edward; yeh then get kicked out  
bella; well he said you were not aloud in the front door ever again so...  
edward; I know but I came through the window cos I am a-  
bella; teenage mutant ninja vampire I know  
edward; I was gonna say genious but hey  
bella; you look so real its creepy  
edward; what the devil -phone rings- one sec  
edward; hello  
alice; HOW COULD YOU ARO HAS JUST RECOVERED AS WELL  
edward; NOT THIS AGAIN  
alice; YES THIS AGAIN AND LOWER YOUR VOICE CHARLIE SHALL HEAR!  
edward; ahh yes the human father  
bella; WHAT DID YALL SAY BOUT MY DADDY!  
Edward; nothing love  
bella; you clearly did  
edward; I shall tell you later  
bella; fine  
alice; you are so mean to her  
edward; I am not  
alice; you are  
edward; betrayed by my own sister shockin I tell you  
alice; yes haha  
edward; anyway back to the point  
alice; well it is destroyed now dumbnut!  
edward; ohhh language  
alice; whatever BUT NOW i must send go on facebook and talk to jane !  
edward; its not my fault  
alice; GRRRR EDWARD DONT MAKE ME MAD  
edward; whatever sis  
alice; you have no respect  
edward; i do too  
alice; whatever goodbye **hangs up  
**edward; RUDENESS  
bella; care to explain  
edward; No  
bella; I KNEW YOU WERENT REAL !  
edward; what the d- hell?

Bella; you are just a hallucination you will disappear if I dont do something reckless its kinda stupid that i'm talking to you  
edward; I am very much here  
bella; oh great even figments of my imagination lie to me  
edward; i am no a figment  
bella; AH my chest it hurts  
Edward; what?  
bella; come here  
edward; -goes-  
bella; turn me into a vampire  
edward; NEVER I WONT LET IT HAPPEN  
bella; -smiles-  
edward; what?  
bella; you really are here -hugs edward-  
edward; yes now is your stomach still sore  
bella; no  
edward;good now go get showered and ready  
bella; where are we going  
edward; I was thinking my house  
bella; well I want to do something when we are there  
edward; what ?  
bella; I want to do a vote  
edward; **narrows eyes**  
bella; am not kidding...  
edward; thats what scares me  
bella; **raised eyebrows**  
edward; what do you want to do a vote on  
bella; I want to do a vote on...  
edward; go on  
bella; …...whether your family wants me to become a vampire or not  
edward; -LARGE SIGH- Why are you doing this to me  
bella; please edward **-pouts-  
**edward; CURSES you know I cant resist that pout  
bella; -makes her eyes go all watery-  
edward; -defeated look- Ok we can do it  
bella; thank you -hugs him again then goes to get ready-  
edward; what have I done?  
alice; *texts him* Exactly what you intended Bro...;)


	4. Twiteams

The vote

when Bella goes to the cullens for a vote yn ?

Bella; I am ready edward  
**walks into room  
**edward; WHY  
bella; we are going to yours remember?  
Edward; yes I remember  
bella; then why did you ask  
edward; I dont know  
bella; hehe silly edwi- i mean edward  
edward; why do you keep calling me edwin  
bella; -runs to volvo but edwards already there-  
edward; Ha !  
Bella; I HATE YOU WHY MUST YOU BE SO- SO – ARROGANT  
edward; bella bella bella  
bella; I herd you the first time why must you repeat yourself  
edward; never mind!  
bella; arent you going to open the door for me  
Edward; no  
bella; WELL THEN ! NO HUGS FOR A DAY  
edward; -dry sobs-  
bella; SHUT UP AND DRIVE  
edward; -does this-  
bella; hehehe never doubt rihanna  
edward; anywayz since people know about our lives they chose teams the most common is team edward and team jacob  
bella; AND?...  
edward; what team you on  
bella; TEAM ARO FTW!  
edward; what about team edward  
bella; edward shmedward  
edward; SHOCKING  
bella; Aro rocks dude  
edward; how?  
bella; he just does i cant explain  
edward; I SHALL ASK THE AUTHOR ...TAMMAY!  
tammay; you called dear  
edward; what team are you on  
tammay ; i am on 2 teams  
edward; which ones  
tammay; team EMMETT AND ALICE DUHHH  
edward; OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EVILNESS  
tammay; i dont care?  
edward; is your mother a twi-mum  
tammay; yes  
edward; what team  
tammay; team carlisle  
edward; THE HELL?  
tammay; i know i know i was all like good for you mother !  
edward; i am done now  
tammay; GOODBYE  
*dissapears*

-arrive at cullen mansion-  
-cullens gather round-

bella; ok so you know what I want and thats to be a tennage mutant ninja vampire  
alice; vampires for short!  
Bella; yes yes  
alice; or vamps  
bella; WE GET IT  
alice; but you dont  
bella; we do really  
alice; YOU DO NOT  
bella; fine you dont  
edward; -sulks on stairs-  
bella; so alice? Yes or no  
alice; OF COURSE YES I ALREADY CONSIDER YOU MY SISTER -hugs-  
bella; jasper?  
Jasper; I was mentioned...why?  
Bella; -sighs- yes or no  
jasper; well it would be nice not to want to eat you so yes  
bella; EXCELLENCE sooo rosalie?  
Rosalie; look bella I admire you saved my brother and all but I wouldn't wish this life on anybody soo no  
bella; ok sooo emmett?  
emmett; HELL YES -grabs bella in bear hug-  
bella; em-mett ca-n't bre-ath  
emmett; ohh sorry -puts bella down-  
bella; thanks soo esme?  
Esme; your like a daughter to me so yes  
bella; carlisle?  
Carlisle -looks at edward-  
edward; WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?  
Carlisle; am sorry son but you knew this would happen some day so yes  
edward; bella you know you dont have to be changed  
bella; shut up -looks at him-  
everyone else; -laughs-

-edwards driving-  
edward; la de da la de da  
bella; OMG JACOB  
edward; -brakes-  
bella; -runs out – Jake what are you doing?  
Edward; he wants to talk to me  
bella; I could have guessed that  
edward; -walks-  
bella; ?  
Edward; he says are you gonna be changed  
jake; STOP READING MY MIND  
bella; WHAT THAT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM  
jake; YOU ARE BELLA WHAT THE HELL  
bella; you dont get a say in it jacob

jake; EVERYBODY HATES YOU  
bella; b-but w-why  
jake; you are such a cry baby  
edward; that is my girlfriend mutt  
jake; NOBODY LIKES YOU EITHER  
edward; ...w-what  
jake; they are all on my team  
edward; THEY ARE NOT i know alot of team edward fans  
jake; fine they love you by why couldnt you let me win  
edward; because i am edward lord of edward town  
jake; you have your own town  
edward; maybe  
jake; ooh I am angry now  
bella; this can only end badly  
tammay *appears*  
bella; oh hello  
tammay; STOP THE FIGHT STUPID  
bella; ohh right  
jake; *shaking*  
bella; JAKE CALM  
jake; c-c-c-cant-t-t  
bella; jake?  
edward; -throws jake and he phases in the air-  
edward; **Growls**  
jake; RAWR  
bella; was that necessary  
j & e; yes yes it was  
bella; hmph  
edward; rudeness  
bella; DONT CARE -stands in the middle-  
YOU CANT HURT EACH OTHER WITHOUT HURTING ME!  
jake; GRRRRR -turns and walks away-  
bella; OMG yous guys are so frustrating i mean cant yous act like normal people  
edward; well we cant hide our true identities  
bella; if they can do it on csi , they can do it here  
tammay; oddly enough she has a point  
edward; WHY R U STILL HERE  
tammay; cause am awesome  
edward; TRUE!  
tammay; haha goodbye -dissapears-

Edward; bella before we go can I ask you something  
bella; AHH SO MANY QUESTIONS  
edward; but-  
bella; DONT EXPLAIN JUST SAY THE QUESTION  
edward; excellence  
bella; well?  
Edward; -gets down on one knee-  
bella; WATCH I love those trousers on you  
edward; ok ok SO ISABELL-  
bella; BELLA  
edward; fine BELLA MARIE SWAN WILL YOU MARRY ME ? -pulls out ring-  
bella; erm  
edward; well?  
bella; NO

~~~~~THE END~~~~  
Review please ! XxXx


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